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Preparing for the future

When the opportunity came about for local resident Kay to record her wishes for when she becomes more unwell, it was a relief to her daughter, Catherine, to know her mum’s wishes can be accessed by health professionals if needed. 

Lindsey Henry is a community connector supporting people living with dementia with their advance care planning through St Helena's Care Choices service, which is funded by a grant. Lindsey visited Kay and Catherine at home several times to build trust and to learn more about Kay so she could best support her to record her wishes on the My Care Choices Register. Kay explained:

“I've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and cognitive impairment. I did think it would be a good idea because then there won't come a time when I lose my speech and I can't tell people what I want, or I can't work out the questions in my head to tell people what I want, so having this done is a brilliant idea.

“It's nice that people are interested in you because you do feel a bit left out when you can't follow everything and you don't quite know what's going on, which I don't.”

Kay’s memory is deteriorating and she now cannot remember much about the chats she had with Lindsey but her daughter Catherine gently reminded her:

“If you remember, Mum, she started by just having a good old chat to you. The first week, I don't think you filled in anything, so you had a really nice chat and told Lindsey lots of things about your life and what you had done and about your work with the Salvation Army.”

Image: Kay has completed a My Care Choices Record with St Helena Hospice to document her wishes for the future

Kay

Kay met David, her husband of 59 years, when she first joined the Salvation Army and the couple stayed devoted to the organisation for the whole of their working lives.

The chats with Lindsey were enjoyable about the past and they also talked about what Kay might like to do in the future if she becomes more unwell and they wrote it down in the My Care Choices booklet. Kay explained:

“Lindsey will give the book to the surgery so they know what we were talking about. I mean, if I become unwell, they can fix it and I can go back to living a reasonably full life, so to speak. If they can't fix it without lots of treatment and so forth, then I'm not going to bother and that's what we wrote down. I think that's what we wrote down.

“I mean, if I go in hospital and they can't give me back a reasonable quality of life, I don't want it, because at the moment I can manage.”

The family first heard about the Care Choices service when they moved to the area and were invited by their new GP to pop in for a chat with the social prescriber who asked Kay if she would be interested in the process. Kay said:

“Through my work, I've met lots of people in different stages of this disease and so I have an idea what could come along in the future, you see, so I thought, well, I'm going to put in place things that are going to help before I get to that point. My heart might give out before and then I might not need it, but I don't know, so I did think actually it would be a good idea.

“I'd recommend it to anybody that is going to go through the same thing as I am, but as I say, meeting people who were further along the line through our work has become very useful. It's not that pleasant when I think about it, but I don't think about it. Take each day as it comes.”

For Catherine, knowing her mum's wishes are recorded is reassuring:

“It was really good to be able to listen and hear what Mum wanted at this stage because I thought I knew what she would want, but it was just really good to have her sit down with somebody outside of the family to ask the questions and talk, and actually now have it recorded so that I have something that says, yes, she is happy if things deteriorate I can make these decisions. I have lasting power of attorney for finances and health but it was just good to hear her say she's happy for that to happen.

“It's been a very positive experience and Mum enjoyed going through the experience, which was really good.”

The 87 year old jokes that she aims to live to 100 to annoy her daughter, but she is glad she has a My Care Choices Record just in case. She found talking with Lindsey a relaxed process:

Image: Kay and Catherine with Lindsey from St Helena Hospice discussing the My Care Choices Record

Catherine, Kay and Lindsey

“I like her very much. She's easy to talk to, which is nice. I'm not put off by her because some people I find a bit overpowering but I can chat to her, which is lovely. 

“I'm just appreciative of people that come and support me because you hear of lots of people living on their own and they don't get the support that they need and I think that's very sad, but I'm supported by a good family. 

Story and images may not be published elsewhere without express permission from St Helena Hospice.

 

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