Contrast

Text Size

a a
X

We're born, we live, we die

Dying Matters Awareness Week encourages people to have conversations around death and dying, specifically between healthcare professionals and patients, their carers and their families.

At St Helena, we empower people to plan ahead and share their choices for future care, including end of life care, and to record this on My Care Choices.

Kit, who is currently staying at the hospice, recorded his choices with the support of his community nurse specialist (CNS) at home and his wife Helen. Kit admits it is a work in progress but that it is important to have plans in place and his wishes noted:

“The My Care Choices form, I think that was great. That's exactly what I wanted, all in place. We're still in the throes of plans really; we think of something new every other day.

“I've got no problem talking about it. We're born, we live, we die.

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage two, and they did the mastectomy and the chemo and the radiotherapy, and it disappeared and we thought that's it. 20 years later, here I am, but it's now stage 4 and it's gone on to my lung, my right lung.

“Life is short, make the most of it. Even me, I haven't adjusted my lifestyle in view of my cancer at all. I’m here to enjoy myself.

“I guess there is a perception that when people hear ‘hospice’, it's end of life, but I'm psyched up for that already!”

Kit and Helen have been married for 42 years, popping off to the registry office on a lunchbreak to tie the knot. Helen is open to frank conversations about the future too:

“We’ve always had quite a sense of humour, so for us, that's the way to deal with dying, to try and joke about it.

Image: Kit, who is currently staying at St Helena Hospice, recorded his end of life choices on the My Care Choices Register with the support of his community nurse specialist (CNS) at home

Kit recorded his end of life care choices on the My Care Choices Register

“We're accepting the fact that he's going to die and he is end of life because he's no longer able to be on chemo.”

Before arriving at the hospice, Kit had regular visits at home from Diana, his CNS, to check on both of them, and she arranged for the couple to have a look around the hospice to reassure them if it was needed. Shortly after the visit, Kit had a stay in hospital before being moved directly to the hospice, and now sitting next to her husband on the ward overlooking the garden, Helen feels the hospice is making him comfortable:

“He came in dreadfully poorly and they've just built him up and given him more strength. They’ve adjusted his medication so that he feels calmer and more at ease with his illness and himself. They allow open visits, which is lovely. They also care for me, so the fact that there's also support for the partner, the family in general, is a big, big plus.”

Knowing that her husband is safe and being cared for means Helen can go home and feel relaxed. Helen continues:

“We think it's the best place anybody could be if they need extra care at end of life, as my husband is.

“We had a birthday party here for Kit and they were brilliant, they put decorations up overnight and he woke up to a Happy Birthday banner! We were just so thankful we were able to do it in the lovely lounge, there was room for 11 of us, it worked out perfectly, and the kids enjoyed the garden.

“But we really didn't think he'd see his birthday. He did ask the doctor what the prognosis was, and he's outlived that.”

Kit adds:

“I didn't realise that many people go into hospice for limited periods, recuperate and come out again, but there is a perception that it's the end of the road. I don't feel that anymore."

Image: Kit and Helen at St Helena Hospice

Helen and Kit at St Helena Hospice

This story may not be published elsewhere without express permission from St Helena Hospice.

 

Related news and stories

 

Advance Care Planning - Dr Karen Chumbley

Dr Karen Chumbley explains advance care planning ahead of Advance Care Plan Day on 8th May 2024.

View more

Hospice says it’s time to end the silence around death

Dying matters conversations are not just for people with a terminal diagnosis; would you know what your loved one would want if they died suddenly?

View more

Approaching conversations about dying, death and bereavement

We are encouraging people to have conversations about death and dying. These subjects are often not spoken about until we’re suddenly faced with them, and it can feel uncomfortable, or even scary, to talk about them. This blog will help you in broaching these conversations.

View more

Light up a life this Christmas

St Helena Hospice is asking people to support its Light up a Life appeal this Christmas to help the patients they care for, and the families they support, to make lasting memories.

View more

Myth busting hospice care

St Helena Hospice is marking national Hospice Care Week (10th – 14th October) by dispelling common myths about hospices.

View more

Read our latest magazine!

In this issue: At home with you in Tendring | Bereavement support for children | Virtual Ward grows

View more

At home with you in Tendring

We supported 1,951 patients and families facing incurable illness and bereavement living in towns and villages across the Tendring district last year.

View more

St Helena launches child bereavement service for all

St Helena has launched a free child bereavement service for all

View more
 
 
Go to basket

Go to basket

0
Spinner