George had been living with prostate cancer for a few years, and after a second cancer in his brain was diagnosed shortly before Christmas, Hazel knew her husband wanted to be cared for at home. He was discharged from hospital during Christmas week and into the care of the SinglePoint Virtual Ward team from St Helena Hospice.

George died at home on New Year’s Eve where he wanted to be, surrounded by his loved ones.

“He was a stereotypical ‘northern man’ when we first met. I remember when I had my son, he was embarrassed by bringing me a bunch of flowers and he held them behind his back. And when I had my daughter, instead of flowers, he bought me a donner kebab! I couldn’t eat it, so he had that!”

Three years ago, the couple found out George had prostate cancer on the day of his mother’s funeral in Newcastle, hundreds of miles from home.

Several treatments were tried but the cancer was aggressive and eventually spread to his bones. The couple was determined to enjoy the time they had left together, and went on holiday to New England in the US last year in September. Hazel recalls:

“Just before we went away, he started getting a tingling in his hand and he kept dropping things. But we really didn't take too much notice because it was such a small amount at the time. We were in America when things started to get worse. He would drag his leg and he couldn't walk very far. He was steadily getting worse.”

“They weren't involved for a long length of time but I felt supported and safe. I could ring up SinglePoint at any time; I had the number, I was given all the information I needed.”

Prior to SinglePoint’s involvement, the physical demands had taken toll on Hazel, and she collapsed from exhaustion at the hospital where she had taken George for an MRI. Once she had support from Virtual Ward, Hazel could now spend the time she had left with George without constantly worrying about getting him up or putting him to bed.

“It was essential,” she says. “I did the daytime care with my daughter or my son, which was no problem. I'd been used to it so it wasn't new to me. Had it been new to me, it might have been a bit different, but it wasn't, so I could cope. I knew what to do and I could manage, but actually having Virtual Ward there to do the morning care and the evening care, and actually just there for support if I had any questions or anything like that, was invaluable, it really was.

“The caring side never ever phased me whatsoever. I suppose it’s because I felt useful. And because I used to be a nurse, my husband trusted me to do it and that made it a little bit easier.

“I didn't know anything about SinglePoint or the Virtual Ward. Being a district nurse, I knew that you could get involved with The Hospice but I was coping at the time and it was something that didn’t cross my mind. Had I have known about it and perhaps if they had they known about me, they could have come round and looked at what we needed, or so I had a point of call for support.”

SinglePoint is staffed 24/7 but sometimes people are afraid to phone because they feel they are disturbing someone, even though that is not the case – the team works on a shift rota so there is always a friendly voice on the end of the phone and a nurse ready to support.

“I had to phone SinglePoint in the middle of the night but I didn't like doing it, I hated doing it, but it got to a point when I had to. As a nurse, I used to say to patients you’ve got these numbers day or night. ‘oh, I don't like to ring’ they would say; and then I was doing the same thing not wanting to ring in the middle of the night! I can give all the advice but not take it myself!”

On the morning of New Year’s Eve, Debbie and the healthcare assistants visited as they had done since George left hospital.

“And throughout the experience, I could be with him all the time, day and night, which is what we wanted.”

Although she hopes to spend Christmas Day with her family, depending on lockdown rules, Hazel is not looking forward to the festive period this year.

“Christmas and New Year is going to be an awkward time, but I think it's always the first of everything, isn’t it? It would have been our 46th wedding anniversary in August and that was a difficult one. He was 67 when he died; he passed away on New Year's Eve and it would have been his 68th birthday on 12th January.

“I have thought about it and I’m dreading it. I know I'm not going to be alone or lonely, but Christmas morning I’m dreading because that was our time together. George and I used to get up, we’d have a bit of breakfast and we’d open our presents.