Ash: I actually felt like someone had taken my life away but now I just feel like it’s happened. I’m not going to get it back, someone’s taken it so I’ve just got to get on with it.

Victoria: I think he’s so young, we’re both really young, so it was why us?

Ash: The stigma of they wanted to put me in a hospice, maybe I’m a bit more than what the hospice, the hospital, can tell me. Scared, yep. It’s a bit of a whirlwind at first and being so young, 31, made me think a bit more about it. But I’m strong, I will get past it. As soon as I was told cancer, I sort of gave up and I feel now, is there any other 31… 32… 30 year olds going through what I’m going through just bottling it up? They could benefit a lot by coming here. 

Victoria: If I’m down then Ash is down, if I’m depressed then Ash is depressed. I’m not going to get anywhere by sitting in a corner and not getting on with it. We know it’s limited so every day we try and make a little memory for every day and it helps that I can stay as well. And we can bring the dog with us as well.

Ash: and it helps patients knowing my relative is just on the bed next to me because that’s what it would be at home. If you are young and you’re scared don’t be, there is hospices here and the word hospice doesn’t mean anything. Just take it, take the help, take everything that the nurses here, the groups, everything here, it does make a hell of an improvement in your life; it’s done wonders to mine. This hospice is awesome. 

Ash: The food, well! I’ve even surprised the nurses to try them out a little bit, tuna and mint sauce sandwich and it’s on a plate at half ten at night, half ten, eleven at night if I want a cheese and whatever, it’s there on a plate, so it’s yeah, where else would do that?
 

Victoria: Everyone keeps telling me how amazing and how strong I am but I don’t personally think of myself as amazing and strong I just know I have to get up in the morning and carry on because he wouldn’t want me to dwell on it and to sit there and mope and cry and… with the help of the Bereavement Support here I’m slowly getting back to where I was beforehand.

Him able to have the 24 hour a day care that I wasn’t able to give him at home because I had to go to work or where he wasn’t able to get up and down the stairs here if he wanted to go out I could just take him out there was no stairs to contend with that I was able to stay here with him and how there was no limit on how many nights or the limit of time I was able to stay here. 

It was also that the dog could stay here as well and towards the end there was the process of the cat coming to visit but in the end Ash was able to go home for a couple of hours to see the cat that was the Thursday before he did pass away his one final wish was to go home but unfortunately he never got home to stay so the ambulance service and the staff here arranged for him to be picked up to be taken home up three flights of stairs to see George’s bedroom for the last time that he painted and decorated and sorted out before I packed it up ready to move and so he could see the cat and he did go and see George’s grave for the last time as well.
It meant loads to us obviously he was here for six weeks so he hadn’t seen home for six weeks he hadn’t seen George for six weeks so and to be able to do that together for the last time meant a lot.

People see the word hospice and they think they come into the Hospice and they don’t ever come out they sit in a bed for 24 hours a day and but it’s not like that at all you can take them out you can come and go as you please and they don’t they don’t always not come out.

Ash unfortunately he after six weeks he did pass away but he was able to come and go in that time and live as normal as he could life while he was here.